Your camera helps you stay calm

Welcome to the December 2006 issue of the Inner Brat Newsletter.

Welcome, new readers. If you enjoy this newsletter, please forward it to your friends and encourage them to subscribe. All they need to do is to send a blank email message to innerbrat-subscribe@topica.com.

If you have comments or questions, feel free to email me at drwallin@drwallin.com.

IN THIS ISSUE

• Your camera helps you stay calm
• Great Gift ideas for special people
• Inner brats in the news
• Inner brat tip of the month
• Distribution information

• Your camera helps you stay calm •

Here's a use for your camera that I bet you never thought of: It can help you keep your cool.

In the next couple of weeks millions of families will be getting together to celebrate the holidays. But let's face it - most family gatherings won't look like Norman Rockwell paintings. As one of my friends said to me: "My family resembles a painting all right, but it's a Picasso painting, with everything fragmented and out of place."

You might not agree with my friend's comment on Picasso's art, but you can probably relate to her experience, even if your family is not quite as chaotic as hers. Every family has disagreements and conflict - some more than others. And during the holidays these problems can be magnified.

Want to stay calm at family gatherings? Get out your camera and take pictures.

Here's why: Viewing people through a camera lens forces you to be more objective, less emotional. In framing your shot, you focus on how you want the picture to turn out, rather than on how you feel. You are watching, but not participating.

Taking pictures may also reduce the tension of the situation. Most people - including trouble makers at a family gathering - are distracted by the flash of a camera. The distraction may be just enough to disrupt a hostile interaction.

A videocamera might be even more effective. I found this out quite accidentally one day when my kids were small. During one of their arguments I got out the videocamera to tape them. Immediately they started talking to the camera and got distracted from their bickering with each other.

Whether you use a video- or a still camera, make sure you take it to the next family get-together. You never know when it might come in handy. For example:

• Uncle Fred just made a sarcastic comment. Pretend you didn't hear it, and point your camera at him and ask him to smile.

• Nephews fighting? Have them show their muscles to the camera.

• Mom just asked you a difficult question. Excuse yourself to take some pictures.

Of course, a camera can't prevent a fight that people are determined to see to the end. And it can't make archenemies into friends.

But for the limited time that you are at your family get-together, assign yourself the role of chief photographer, and you'll be better able to stay out of the conflicts.

And the bonus - you capture memories of your family. Believe it or not, even difficult families are better than no family at all.

• Great Gift ideas for special people •

I know that there are some special people on your holiday gift list - and you want to give them something that will last.

Give them the gift of one-on-one telephone coaching with me. I love helping people discover their strengths and use them to move from good to great!

Until Dec 31 I'm offering gift certificates at attractive discounts. Choose from 3 different certificate styles and 3 different coaching durations.

Prices are NOT displayed on the gift certificates - only the duration for which they are valid.

See details at drwallin.com/giftcertificates.html

Here's another gift idea: Check out my books:

Taming Your Inner Brat: A Guide to
Transforming Self-defeating Behavior
Get it at Amazon.com

101 Great Ways to Improve Your Life
(Co-authored with other experts including
John Gray, Richard Carlson, Jack Canfield)
Get it here, along with $1500 worth of bonuses

Download my gift to you:
The Holiday Survival Guide.
Click here and look for the download link
on the left side of the page.

• INNER BRATS IN THE NEWS •

In the wake of threatened lawsuits from parents, teachers in New South Wales, Australia were instructed to avoid using potentially defamatory language on student report cards. They are not to write that a student is "moody," or even that the student "could try harder."

A woman in Russia sued the Coca Cola company for damages including insomnia and heartburn. She claims that she became addicted to Coke, drinking 3 liters per day, because the company had offered prizes for sending in bottle caps. Two courts ruled that Coca Cola had failed to warn of the potential health risks, and awarded her $120. She is seeking an additional $115,000 for "moral damages."

Several graduate students of Columbia University School of Journalism were caught cheating on an exam . . . an Ethics exam.

For more stories about brats in the news visit my website.

• INNER BRAT TIP OF THE MONTH: Pick your battles •

Sometimes it's important to win a battle. Sometimes it's more important to conserve your energy. I'll remind you of one of my favorite analogies here: Imagine that you have just a dollar's worth of energy every day. Do you want to spend half of it (or more) on one battle?

Not every battle is worth fighting - in fact most of them are not.

Next time your inner brat wants to prove a point or to show the other person who's boss, you decide how much of that dollar's worth of energy you want to spend.

• Distribution Information •

This newsletter may be quoted, reprinted, or forwarded to others as long as the content is not changed and the subscription, copyright, and contact information is included. If you would like to post this newsletter on a website, please contact me for permission at drwallin@drwallin.com.

NOTE: The content in this newsletter is for informational purposes only. It is not intended as a substitute for personal consultation with a professional, or as any type of psychological service.

The inner brat is NOT a psychiatric diagnosis. If you are having difficulty just getting through the day, this is more than just your inner brat. In this case you are advised to consult a mental health professional.

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