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Welcome to the October 2006 issue of the Inner Brat Newsletter. Welcome, new readers. If you enjoy this newsletter, please forward it to your friends and encourage them to subscribe. All they need to do is to send a blank email message to innerbrat-subscribe@topica.com. If you have comments or questions, feel free to email me at drwallin@drwallin.com.
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Research shows that excuses can help make it easier to live with failure and disappointment - even when the excuse is not even very plausible. As bad as the situation can be, it's almost a relief to believe that something or someone else is responsible for what happened. If it's not your fault, you're not expected to do much about it.
If you believe that whatever happens to you is the result of forces outside yourself, you also believe that nothing you do will make a difference. So why bother trying to make things better? And when nothing gets better, you feel like a victim of circumstances. Your inner brat is a master of excuses. It will do anything to avoid accountability or exertion. As long as it convinces you that there is nothing to do but lament your situation, you don't even consider that there IS something you can do about it. Don't allow yourself to get caught up in the vicious cycle of excuse-inaction-victimization. See my tips at the end of this newsletter. • Books •
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101 Great Ways to Improve Your Life: Volume 2
The book is 101 Great Ways to Improve Your Life: Volume 2 It's just $14.95, with a money-back guarantee. . . . AND the publisher is throwing in 14 bonus items worth $1500, just for the purchase of one book! You have nothing to lose. Get the book here: http://snipurl.com/_101Ways
Taming Your Inner Brat: A Guide to Transforming Self-defeating Behavior
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For more stories about brats in the news visit my website.
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• DR. WALLIN IN THE MEDIA • In the past few weeks I was quoted in an Associated Press news story about Bill Clinton's interview on Fox News. The article appeared in dozens of newspapers and news websites. US Weekly called me for input on a story about Lindsay Lohan. I was interviewed by Good Housekeeping magazine. The article, which is about self-sabotaging, will appear in the January issue. • INNER BRAT TIP OF THE MONTH:
Excuses take the edge off your disappointment with yourself, but repeated over time, they rob you of motivation and success. Don't let excuses keep you down. Instead of focusing on what you can't change, focus on what you can do. Ask yourself the following questions:
When you decide what you will do you, you're no longer a victim. A decision, even a small one, makes you feel more powerful and in control of your life. |
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But
there's also a downside: An excuse may let you off the hook for now,
but if excuses become a habit, you end up feeling powerless and victimized.
A Florida man who refused to pay a $46 restaurant bill because he felt
that he had not received enough food, was charged with defrauding the
restaurant of money due. Police offered to drop the charges if he just
paid his bill, but instead he hired an attorney at $500/hour. A jury found
him not guilty, so he got out of paying his $46 restaurant bill.
