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Welcome to the September 2006 issue of the Inner Brat Newsletter. Welcome, new readers. If you enjoy this newsletter, please forward it to your friends and encourage them to subscribe. All they need to do is to send a blank email message to innerbrat-subscribe@topica.com. If you have comments or questions, feel free to email me at drwallin@drwallin.com.
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• My new book and new website! • The Inner Brat Newsletter is back after an August break. In the past few weeks I've been gearing up some new projects. The first is my new website. Web designer and friend, Linda Chapman did a superb job. Take a look: www.drwallin.com
You should have received the announcement that I sent out yesterday. The book is hot off the presses. And to get the word out, the publisher is making a very attractive offer. Buy just one copy for $14.95 and get $1500 worth of bonus gifts that are not available anywhere else. Click here to learn more. • Don't take your inner brat
to work •
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Here's an excerpt from the chapter I wrote in 101 Great Ways to Improve Your Life, Vol. 2:
"Hmm," you might be saying to yourself right now. "That describes someone I work with." It's always easier to spot someone else's inner brat than your own. But take a moment now to reflect on yourself and answer the following questions:
If you answered yes to any of these questions, you probably don't enjoy your job very much. And when you're in a negative mood, your inner brat brings you down even more. Research has shown that while some jobs are more stressful than others, dissatisfaction has more to do with your attitude than with the job itself. For example, consider two women, Abigail and Betty, who work as nurse's aides in a hospital. Abigail complains, "All I do is clean up other people's messes. Patients don't appreciate what I do for them. If I'm 5 minutes late or if I forget to wash out a bedpan, I get yelled at. When I first started here they promised I'd get two breaks a day. Now I'm lucky if I even get one. I hate this job." Now here's how Betty sees her job: "I like to know that I can make the patients more comfortable. They don't always show appreciation, but I guess I wouldn't either if I was in as much pain as they are. Sometimes I get so busy that I forget things, and my supervisor gets mad. She's got the administration breathing down her neck and can't afford any patient complaints. There are days when I don't even get a break, but the time sure flies by on those days. Even though it's a hard job, I like helping people."
You can see from this example that your job is what you make it. It makes no difference whether you work inside or outside; at a desk or behind a counter; or whether you wear jeans or suits to work. If you focus on the negative you will never enjoy your job, no matter what you do or how much you get paid. Abigail in the above example has a strong inner brat. She complains and finds fault. She perceives herself as a victim. Not only will her inner brat make her irritable and hard to get along with; it will deprive her of the opportunity to feel good about herself. Betty is more positive about her job, but at the same time she is also realistic. She's aware of the hard work and lack of appreciation. However, instead of dwelling on what's missing from her job, she focuses on why she chose to work there in the first place. She gets tired and stressed but she also goes home with a sense of satisfaction and accomplishment. No one is cheerful one hundred percent of the time. Still, people who don't let their inner brats make mountains out of molehills suffer less stress, are less angry, and are more optimistic about the future. There are many things you cannot control at work. For example, you have no control over your boss's moods. If your boss is in a bad mood, he or she might take it out on you. But you don't have to let your boss's inner brat push your buttons and unleash your own inner brat. Some aspects of your job may be monotonous or unpleasant. But even then, you can view them in a different way, e.g., by setting up a challenge such as racing the clock, or by doing things in a different order or with different tools. By doing so you gain a sense of control over your work, thereby reducing both physical and mental stress. How can you possibly like your job when you work with impossible people? Order the book, and find out.
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For more stories about brats in the news visit my website.
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• DR. WALLIN IN THE MEDIA • A couple of weeks ago I was a guest on KAHL Radio in San Antonio Texas, talking about school uniforms, kids' behavior and the relationship between the two. (Surprise: research shows that you need more than a uniform to behave properly.) I was also interviewed for an upcoming issue of Good Housekeeping Magazine. It should be on the stands in December. |
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The
inner brat gets furious at the slightest inconvenience. It feels entitled
to get what it wants when it wants, and complains when things don't go
its way. Your inner brat not only makes you miserable; it makes work unpleasant
for everyone else.
A couple sued the Plaza Hotel. The hotel had canceled their daughter's
bat mitzvah party that had been scheduled there, due to renovations. Although
they were given 6 months' notice and a complete refund of their deposit,
the couple claimed emotional damages of "humiliation, indignity, distress
of mind and mental suffering." The court threw out the case.
