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Welcome to the February 2006 issue of the Inner Brat Newsletter. Welcome, new readers. If you enjoy this newsletter, please forward it to your friends and encourage them to subscribe. All they need to do is to send a blank email message to innerbrat-subscribe@topica.com. If you have comments or questions, feel free to email me at drwallin@drwallin.com.
	IN THIS ISSUE • Which do you more regret? • Inner brats in the news • How have you tamed your own inner brat? • Inner brat tip of the month: Make this question a habit • Distribution information
• WHICH DO YOU MORE REGRET? •
According to an old maxim, it's better "to regret what you did, rather than what you did not do." For example, maybe you should leave your boring job, secure as it may be, and find a more interesting career. If it doesn't work out you may regret it, but not nearly as much as if you had never taken the chance at all. The kinds of things that people tend to regret NOT having done are those that pertain to goals and dreams. But when it comes to the smaller decisions - minor situations that you encounter every day - the opposite is true: It's better to regret what you didn't do, than what you did do. See for yourself. Take the quiz below. Each of the following statements offers two courses of action. On a scale of 0 to 5, rate how much you would probably regret each option. This is a bit different from other quizzes. Don't indicate what you would do in the scenarios, but rather how much you might regret doing them. That is, if you would probably feel no regret for the behavior, give it a zero. If you would probably end up feeling much regret, score a 5. 1. You've just made your last payment on your 4-year-old car, and it's still running well. Now you can catch up on your other bills. But then you see a TV commercial for a new model. You can certainly imagine yourself behind the wheel, and can almost smell that new car aroma. a. You buy the new car b. You keep the car you have and pay off other debt 2. Your boss makes you stay late once again, such that you have to miss your child's soccer game for the fourth time. You are so mad that you feel like telling your boss to "take this job and shove it." a. You tell your boss to "take this job and shove it." b. You keep your cool for now, and wait till tomorrow to plan your next step. 3. You're at a buffet dinner. The dessert table beckons you, but you have promised yourself to avoid sugar. a. You walk over "to just have a look" and end up loading your plate with cake and pie. b. You find something to do that distracts you from dessert, such as enjoying the warm, robust flavor of your coffee. 4. You just heard a rumor about your neighbor that is quite shocking. Your other neighbors would certainly be surprised. a. You tell just one other neighbor. b. You keep the rumor to yourself. 5. Your kids once again "forgot" their chores. This time you're really mad. a. You scream at them, calling them worthless slobs b. You tell them you'll deal with them later, after you've had a chance to cool down. 6. You're out with your friends, and someone orders a third round of drinks. You have an important meeting tomorrow morning. a. What the heck - you work hard, and you deserve a little fun in your life. You join in the third round of drinks. b. After two drinks you stick to water.   Add up your scores for all the "a" actions. Now add up your scores for the "b's". If you're like most people, your scores on the a's are higher than on the b's. In other words, you anticipate greater potential regret for giving into cravings, losing your temper, and making yourself important at someone else's expense. These are all typical inner brat behaviors. Furthermore, these inner brat behaviors lock you into consequences that are not easily reversed. On the other hand, when you choose to behave as in the b statements - that is, to NOT listen to your inner brat, you keep your options open. For example: • If you don't tell your boss to shove it, you still have the option to do so later. But in the meantime you also may think of some better options. • If you don't have that third drink, you may find other ways to enjoy yourself. • If you keep a rumor to yourself for now, you may later find that it would have made you look really foolish. • If you don't buy that car, the money you save can be used for something else. • If you don't scream at your kids right away, you retain to option to do so later. But by then you will think of a more effective course of action. There are many things in life that you'll regret not having done. But you won't regret not giving into your inner brat.
Need a speaker for your next conference, luncheon meeting, or event? Send an email to: drwallin@drwallin.com or call me at 717-761-1814 for more information. In my book, "Taming Your Inner Brat: A Guide to Transforming Self-defeating Behavior," you can learn about how to make better choices. There are 3 ways to buy this book: ~Visit your local bookstore ~Order online from my web site: www.innerbrat.com ~Click here to go to Amazon.com
• INNER BRATS IN THE NEWS • In France over the past few years, more than 1300 lawsuits have been filed against teachers and schools over minor discipline, poor grades and school policies. Parents brought in lawyers when dissatisfied with the lunch menu, when their child was caught smoking, when the afternoon nap was cancelled, and other disputes that should have been negotiated between the parent and the school. Compared to a random control group, 2500 patients seen in hospital emergency rooms for injury were more likely to report having been angry in the 24 hours preceding their injury. Men were more prone to injury when only mildly irritable. Women's risk increased only when they were very angry. A man has sued Apple Computer Inc. He claims that the iPod is defective because of insufficient warnings about potential hearing loss if the volume is turned up too high when listening with earbud headphones. The plaintiff has not actually experienced any hearing loss himself. For more stories about brats in the news visit my website.
• Inner Brat Tip of the Month: Make this question a habit • Your inner brat is always pushing you toward what you act on impulse, disregarding what is best for you in the long run. One way to control your inner brat is to stop and think. But next time, instead of thinking, "How much do I want . . .?" or "How important is . . ." Ask yourself this: Which might I regret more? For example: * Which might I regret more: Saying what I really think, or not? * Which might I regret more: Eating three donuts, or not? * Which might I regret more: Buying that expensive item, or not? This forces you to consider the true price you risk paying for temporary gratification.
Until next month, Pauline Wallin, Ph.D. www.innerbrat.com Copyright 2005
• Distribution Information • This newsletter may be quoted, reprinted, or forwarded to others as long as the content is not changed and the subscription, copyright, and contact information is included. If you would like to post this newsletter on a website, please contact me for permission at drwallin@drwallin.com. NOTE: The content in this newsletter is for informational purposes only. It is not intended as a substitute for personal consultation with a professional, or as any type of psychological service. The inner brat is NOT a psychiatric diagnosis. If you are having difficulty just getting through the day, this is more than just your inner brat. In this case you are advised to consult a mental health professional. This newsletter is hosted by Topica.com. Topica may include advertisements for unrelated products. I have no control over these ads, but they do help pay for the expenses of distribution, which keeps the newsletter free of cost to you. Copyright 2006 Pauline Wallin. All rights reserved.