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This free monthly newsletter, written by a clinical psychologist with over 30 years of experience, explains how the inner brat works, and presents tips for putting you in charge of your inner brat. To read past issues of this newsletter, visit http://drwallin.com/newsletter/ Written and Published by: Pauline Wallin, Ph.D. Author, "Taming Your Inner Brat: A Guide to Transforming Self-defeating Behavior" http://www.innerbrat.com Copyright 2005 Pauline Wallin. All rights reserved. ************************************************** Welcome to the April 2005 issue of the Inner Brat Newsletter. Welcome, new readers. If you enjoy this newsletter, please forward it to your friends and encourage them to subscribe. All they need to do is to send a blank email message to mailto:innerbrat-subscribe@topica.com. If you have comments or questions, feel free to email me at mailto:drwallin@drwallin.com. IN THIS ISSUE > Special announcement: Psychologist's Internet Guide > Life happens . . . > Inner brats in the news > How have you tamed your own inner brat? > Inner brat tip of the month: What to do when “life” happens > Distribution information This newsletter is hosted by Topica.com. Topica may include advertisements for unrelated products. I have no control over these ads, but they do help pay for the expenses of distribution, which keeps the newsletter free of cost to you. ************************************************** Special Announcement: Psychologist’s Internet Guide ************************************************** Friends, you may have noticed that I missed sending out a newsletter last month. Sorry, but I spent most of that time updating my Internet Guide. It’s packed with useful information on how to find what you’re looking for on the Internet. I hope you find it useful: http://drwallin.com/internetguide/internetguide.shtml I will soon be organizing teleclasses to teach these skills in a systematic format. Class members will meet with me over the phone and follow along at their own computers. Hands-on learning is always more effective than just reading about something. If you’d like to receive an email when the classes are scheduled, write to me at mailto:drwallin@drwallin.com, and I’ll put your name on the mailing list. ******************* Life happens. . . . ******************* Shit happens. I know this to be a fact, because I read it on a t-shirt. ;-) It’s one of those simple truths that most people agree with, even though they may not like the crude language. Life is full of unwelcome surprises. It does not progress in a flawless path, no matter how hard you try, no matter how cautious you are. Sooner or later something happens to throw you off guard. It could be an accident, a disappointment or a loss of some kind. And such stuff doesn’t happen only once -- it’s a fact of life, just like the t-shirt implies. Does this mean that aggravation and misery are inevitable? That human existence is one ordeal after another? The answer is Yes or No - depending on whether you allow your inner brat to be in charge. The inner brat is that immature holdover from early childhood, which magnifies problems, blames other people and situations, and becomes furious at having to deal with the complications of life. When the inner brat is in control, you are so distracted by its negativity that you miss possible solutions and opportunities. Think back to a time when you were strong, or brave, or clever. Most likely this was also a time of difficulty. In order to feel strong, or brave, or clever you had to ignore the negative influences of your inner brat, and to focus on creative solutions to your problem. EXPERIENCES OF STRENGTH ARISE NOT WHEN LIFE IS EASY, BUT WHEN IT’S CHALLENGING. Your inner brat is not equipped to deal with challenge, but *you* are. Next time "life" happens to you, take control of your inner brat (see “Tips” below.) And let’s hope you don’t need one of those t-shirts as a reminder. ;-) . . . Speaking of t-shirts, go to this link to see a video of how to fold a t-shirt in 2 seconds: http://www.fold-your-shirt.com/ (This has nothing to do with your inner brat, but it’s a cool trick, and you’ll also like the music.) ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Need a speaker for your next conference, luncheon meeting, or event? Send an email to: drwallin@drwallin.com or call me at 717-761-1814 for more information. ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ ############################################ In my book, "Taming Your Inner Brat: A Guide to Transforming Self-defeating Behavior," you can learn, once and for all, new ways to deal with feelings and habits that seem to have a grip on you. There are 3 ways to buy this book: ~Visit your local bookstore ~Order online from my web site, http://www.innerbrat.com ~click here to go to Amazon.com: http://shorterlink.com/?I5P5U1 ############################################# ***************************** Inner Brats in the News ***************************** An 18-year-old UK man was awarded over half a million pounds for injuries suffered when he fell 40 feet through a warehouse roof a couple of years ago. He had been trespassing at the time, but claims that he wouldn't have been able to enter the property in the first place if the company’s fence hadn't been broken. Since the injury he has been convicted of robbery, burglary and assault. After receiving the money he said, "It annoys me that people think I don't deserve this money after all I've been through." ========================================================= During a recent parliament debate in Ecuador lawmakers broke out into a fight, throwing water bottles and coins, and making gun-shooting gestures with their hands. A parliamentary spokesman commented, "You know boys will be boys, even in parliament." ========================================================= A misprint in a New York newspaper of a winning lottery number gave hundreds of people false hope that they had won $100,000. Even though the newspaper published a correction, an attorney is now filing a class action suit on behalf of all the people who suffered emotional damages from their disappointment. ========================================================= For more stories about brats in the news visit my website http://www.drwallin.com/news.shtml ************************************** How have you tamed your own inner brat? ************************************** Read stories of people who are working on taming their inner brats. Contribute your own story. You can remain anonymous. Go to: http://www.drwallin.com/innerbrat_contrib.shtml *********************************************************** Inner brat tip of the month: What to do when “life” happens *********************************************************** Some of life’s problems are serious; others are not. Some problems are long-lasting; others are temporary. Your inner brat does not distinguish between a major, long-lasting problem and a minor, temporary one. To your inner brat, all problems are crises of immense proportion. Here’s where *you* come in. Next time you feel victimized by circumstances, ask yourself 2 questions: 1. Does this problem change the course of my life? 2. Will I still have this problem a month from now? If you answered No to both these questions, just get busy and look for solutions. What can you do today to get back on track? When your inner brat complains, find a way to prove it wrong. An inconvenience is not a crisis. If you answered Yes to #1 but not #2, it means you have grown from the experience. Your inner brat may protest, but you will have the upper hand. If you answered Yes to #2 but not #1, you have some work to do in terms of minimizing the inner brat’s hold on you. Treat it as you would a nagging young child. It will quiet down if you ignore it. If you answered Yes to both #1 and #2, I truly wish you the strength to cope. Especially at times like this, you don’t need your inner brat’s negative energy to drain you. You do have resiliency in you - otherwise you wouldn’t have made it this far. Every day ordinary people find ways to cope with extraordinary circumstances. Pay attention to that, not to your inner brat. Until next month, Pauline Wallin, Ph.D. http://www.innerbrat.com DISTRIBUTION INFORMATION: This newsletter may be quoted, reprinted, or forwarded to others as long as the content is not changed and the subscription, copyright, and contact information is included. If you would like to post this newsletter on a website, please contact me for permission at mailto:drwallin@drwallin.com NOTE: The content in this newsletter is for informational purposes only. It is not intended as a substitute for personal consultation with a professional, or as any type of psychological service. The inner brat is NOT a psychiatric diagnosis. If you are having difficulty just getting through the day, this is more than just your inner brat. In this case you are advised to consult a mental health professional. Copyright 2005 Pauline Wallin. All rights reserved. |
