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This free monthly newsletter, written by a clinical psychologist with over 30 years of experience, explains how the inner brat works, and presents tips for putting you in charge of your inner brat. To read past issues of this newsletter, visit http://drwallin.com/newsletter/ Written and Published by: Pauline Wallin, Ph.D. Author, "Taming Your Inner Brat: A Guide to Transforming Self-defeating Behavior" http://www.innerbrat.com Copyright 2004 Pauline Wallin. All rights reserved. ************************************************** Welcome to the August, 2004 issue of the Inner Brat Newsletter. Welcome, new readers. If you enjoy this newsletter, please forward it to your friends and encourage them to subscribe. All they need to do is to send a blank email message to mailto:innerbrat-subscribe@topica.com. If you have comments or questions, feel free to email me at . IN THIS ISSUE > Gratitude disables your inner brat and boosts positive feelings > Inner brats in the news > How have you tamed your own inner brat? > Inner brat tip of the month: Ways to stay appreciative > Distribution information This newsletter is hosted by Topica.com. Topica may include advertisements for unrelated products. I have no control over these ads, but they do help pay for the expenses of distribution, which keeps the newsletter free of cost to you. ******************************************************************** Gratitude disables your inner brat and boosts positive feelings ******************************************************************** As I gave my dog a small morsel of toast the other day, I reflected on how grateful a creature she is. Abby is just as thrilled to receive a crumb as she is to get a huge bone. She never complains that the crumb is too small, or too cold or too moldy even! She always wants more, but if I don't offer it she gets over it quickly. No sulking around for what she didn't get. Wouldn't it be nice if more people were that way? Not that people are never grateful, but most of the time it's after an accident or a disaster. For example, after a fire you’ll often hear the victims say, "We lost everything. But at least we're alive and still have each other." People are also grateful when they're frightened, hurt or down on their luck, and someone comes to their aid. Being on the receiving end of kindness when you need it most, always evokes feelings of gratitude. When you're in a grateful state of mind, your inner brat is essentially disabled. Your mind is open and receptive. You feel connected to the world. Being grateful for what you have is not just a more pleasant state of mind for the moment. There are lasting benefits, both mental and physical. Dr. Robert Emmons, a psychologist who specializes in research on gratitude, found that: * People who kept a daily "gratitude journal" reported higher levels of alertness, enthusiasm and energy, than those who journaled about hassles or neutral events. This was the case even among people with neuromuscular disease. * Grateful people report higher levels of life satisfaction and optimism. * They also are more likely to share their possessions and to help others in need, thereby increasing their feelings of involvement and being appreciated themselves. * They are less envious, less resentful, less bitter, and less neurotic. They are also less materialistic. * Grateful people do not ignore problems. If anything, they may be somewhat more cynical than average. While they may anticipate more difficulties, they are also thankful when other people help make their life easier. Besides feelings of well-being, an appreciative attitude can also have physical health benefits. One study showed that people who were instructed to focus on appreciation for five minutes had better heart rhythms, than did those who were told to think about anger for the same five minutes. If this doesn't get you enthused, consider the following research finding: In a study of 180 nuns over time, those who wrote about being positive and appreciative early in life, lived on average 6-9 years longer than those who were pessimistic and negative. Even if you have a good number of years behind you, it is not too late to expand your gratitude and appreciation. When you do, your inner brat will instantly recede to the background. But gratitude doesn't just reduce negative feelings. It also increases positive ones. Instead of feeling angry, empty or victimized, you will experience contentment and perhaps even joy. You'll start to notice more beauty in the world, despite the stresses and difficulties you're facing. ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Need a speaker for your next conference, luncheon meeting, or event? Send an email to drwallin at drwallin.com or call me at 717-761-1814 for more information. ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ ############################################ In my book, "Taming Your Inner Brat: A Guide to Transforming Self-defeating Behavior," you can find more ways to disarm your inner brat. There are 4 ways to buy this book: ~Visit your local bookstore ~Order online from my web site, http://www.innerbrat.com ~click here to go to Amazon.com: http://shorterlink.com/?I5P5U1 -You can also order by telephone directly from the publisher (503) 531-8700. Ask for the "Friends and family" rate to receive a discount. ############################################# ***************************** Inner Brats in the News ***************************** In Scotland, a child rapist serving an 8-year prison sentence is suing the prison authority, claiming that prison life is boring and causes him mental anguish and low self-esteem. =======================================================Minutes after giving a speech in Pittsburgh about restoring a more dignified tone to the political campaign, the wife of Senator John Kerry told a reporter to "Shove it." Her campaign spokesman defended her action, pointing out that the reporter was from a right-wing newspaper, and had misrepresented her in the past. =======================================================A new survey shows that bullying in the workplace is much more frequent than what is actually reported. In a telephone survey of managers at over 500 companies, The National Institute of Occupational Safety and Health found that bullying occurs in 25% of workplaces and incivility (such as berating and silent treatments) occurs in 60%. The larger the company, the worse the behavior. Employees are reluctant to report incidents of bullying because of fear of retaliation. For more stories about brats in the news visit my website http://www.drwallin.com/news.shtml ************************************** How have you tamed your own inner brat? ************************************** Read stories of people who are working on taming their inner brats. Contribute your own story. You can remain anonymous. Go to: http://www.drwallin.com/innerbrat_contrib.shtml ********************************************************* Inner brat tip of the month: Ways to stay appreciative ********************************************************* Most people have felt grateful after a crisis, but unfortunately, the feelings of gratitude don't last very long. Once things get back to normal we tend to forget what we appreciate, and take things for granted once again. Here are some ways to maintain an appreciative attitude: 1. Make a point of saying “Thank you” to someone twice a day. 2. Keep a gratitude journal. Every night before going to bed, write down three things that went well that day. This put you in a positive frame of mind and may help you fall asleep more easily. 3. Think of someone in your past who had a positive influence on you, but whom you never thanked. Write that person a letter of thanks. If possible arrange a visit (without telling the purpose of your visit) and deliver the letter in person. 4. Answer the following question: If you had your life to live over again, what would you NOT do differently? This will give you insight into more positive aspects of your past, and will help you appreciate how you came to be who you are today. Until next month, Pauline Wallin, Ph.D. http://www.innerbrat.com DISTRIBUTION INFORMATION: This newsletter may be quoted, reprinted, or forwarded to others as long as the content is not changed and the subscription, copyright, and contact information is included. If you would like to post this newsletter on a website, please contact me for permission at NOTE: The content in this newsletter is for informational purposes only. It is not intended as a substitute for personal consultation with a professional, or as any type of psychological service. The inner brat is NOT a psychiatric diagnosis. If you are having difficulty just getting through the day, this is more than just your inner brat. In this case you are advised to consult a mental health professional. Copyright 2004 Pauline Wallin. All rights reserved. |
