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Welcome to the April, 2003 issue of the Inner Brat Newsletter. Welcome, new readers. If you enjoy this newsletter, please forward it to your friends and encourage them to subscribe. All they need to do is to send a blank email message to innerbrat-subscribe@topica.com.
If you have comments or questions, feel free to email me at .
IN THIS ISSUE
> What are your inner brat's personae?
> Inner brats in the news
> How have you tamed your own inner brat?
> Inner brat tip of the month: Get your inner brat in shape for spring
> Distribution information
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What are your inner brat's personae?
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The inner brat has many faces. While it basically reflects self-centered, impulsive forces within us, it can manifest itself in a number of different ways. Think of your inner brat as a clever actor who can play many roles or "personae" and who "talks" to you in the back of your mind. From the following descriptions, see if you can identify which are the favorites of your inner brat. Most people have more than one of these.
THE NAG
Think of this inner brat as a nagging voice inside you. The voice nags and pesters, drowning out other voices that try to convince you to be reasonable. If your inner brat tends to nag, you will find yourself in frequent conflict with urges and desires.
==== How it talks to you: "I want it . . . I can't stand not having it . . . I'll die if I don't have that cigarette (or that drink, or that brownie or that expensive sweater")
THE RATIONALIZER
This inner brat may try to tell you that you can eat all you want and just exercise it off tomorrow. It may also give you an excuse to procrastinate. The Rationalizer inner brat is sometimes hard to detect, because it uses logic, but the logic almost always stems from the premise "What I want is OK because ..." or some variation thereof.
==== How it talks to you: "I can't work on my taxes tonight because there's not enough time. But this weekend for sure . . ."
THE ERUPTOR
This inner brat has very little tolerance for frustration and demands that the world conform to its view. When things don't turn out as expected, it reacts with a vengeance. The Eruptor inner brat is combative, always needing to prove a point, always needing to "win." To give in is considered weak.
==== How it talks to you: "How dare he do that!" "Cut in front of me, will you? Well, I'm going to teach you a lesson."
THE SMOLDERER
This inner brat does a slow burn when it gets mad, accumulating energy for its anger by provoking other people. The Smolderer inner brat presents itself as a victim. It pouts and sulks, sometimes for days or weeks on end, and holds grudges for a long time.
==== How it talks to you: "I just know she hates me. I can just feel it. Now for the twenty-fifth time let's replay that conversation I had with her."
THE WHINER
The Whiner inner brat finds fault with almost everything. It doesn't acknowledge any responsibility for its circumstances. It feels constantly victimized. It laments its predicament but never looks for solutions. It is more interested in blaming other people or circumstances. .
==== How it talks to you: "Why does this always have to happen to me?" "McDonalds made me fat by making their food so tasty that I got addicted to it."
THE EXHIBITIONIST
The Exhibitionist inner brat needs to be noticed and admired. It will dominate conversations, dramatize minor situations, and command attention whenever and wherever possible.
==== How it talks to you: "Hey, everyone. Look at me. Listen to me. Note how clever and witty I am."
THE MARTYR
Like the Exhibitionist inner brat, the Martyr inner brat also wants to be noticed, but in a more focused way. The Martyr makes sacrifices and wants everyone to notice. It dwells on all it has done for other people and on how little appreciation it gets in return.
==== How it talks to you: "They just don't appreciate anything I do." "Can't he understand why I'm so upset?"
THE BULLY
Like the Exhibitionist inner brat, the Bully likes to be the center of attention. But this inner brat is more concerned with having power.
==== How it talks to you: "Nobody's going to tell me what to do. I'm going to stand up for my rights and demand what's coming to me."
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In my book, "Taming Your Inner Brat: A Guide to Transforming Self-defeating Behavior," you can read about inner brat personae in more detail. Figure out not only your own inner brat's tactics, but also those of your spouse, your boss, family members and friends.
There are 4 ways to buy this book:
~Visit your local bookstore
~Order online from my web site, http://www.innerbrat.com
~Click here to go to Amazon.com: http://shorterlink.com/?I5P5U1
-You can also order by telephone directly from the publisher (503) 531-8700. Ask for the "Friends and family" rate to receive a discount.
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Inner Brats in the News
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See if you can figure out what kind of inner brats these people have:
Former Tyco CEO Dennis Koslowski, who resigned last year after being accused of stealing $600 million from the company, claims that the company owes him millions in deferred compensation, which he was unable to collect because of the charges pending against him.
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In Georgia a couple arguing in a parking lot over who was going to take care of their 9-month-old infant, ended up leaving the baby in a car seat on the ground, and they both drove off.
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A woman who experienced dry hair, flakey scalp and some temporary hair loss after having her hair straightened at a salon, sued the salon for damages, including depression and job loss.
For more stories about brats in the news visit my website
http://www.drwallin.com/news.shtml
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How have you tamed your own inner brat?
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Read stories of people who are working on taming their inner brats. Contribute your own story. You can remain anonymous. Go to: http://www.drwallin.com/innerbrat_contrib.shtml
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Inner brat tip of the month: Get your inner brat in shape for spring
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Spring has come late to the northeast U.S. For those of you who resolved get out and do things "as soon as it gets warmer - I mean it this time," now is your window of opportunity. Making a commitment to exercise is easy. Following through is often a challenge. Here are some tips:
1. Anticipate resistance from your inner brat. Your inner brat does not like to exert itself. It might complain that it doesn't really feel like going for a walk right now; or it might rationalize that you first need to rest or that you have to check your e-mail. The peak times for your inner brat's resistance are when you first start the exercise program, and about 3-4 weeks into it. Forewarned is forearmed.
2. Don't negotiate with your inner brat. By the time you decide whether you will or won't go out jogging, you could have been a mile down the road. Schedule your exercise as you would a doctor's appointment, and make it non-negotiable.
3. If you experience muscle stiffness or soreness after a workout, do not let this be an excuse to quit altogether. Get expert advice on how to deal with the soreness, and then resume your exercise at the pace and intensity that is recommended for you.
4. Research shows that you don't need to wear yourself out in order to get the cardiovascular benefits from exercise. The important thing is to move, and to move regularly. Once you have movement programmed into your daily life, your inner brat will settle down (at least when it comes to exercise, that is!)
DISCLAIMER: Before beginning a rigorous exercise program, the experts recommend that you consult a physician.
Until next month,
Pauline Wallin, Ph.D.
http://www.innerbrat.com
