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Welcome to the January, 2003 issue of the Inner Brat Newsletter. Welcome, new readers. If you enjoy this newsletter, please help this list grow. Forward it to your friends and encourage them to subscribe. All they need to do is to send a blank email message to innerbrat-subscribe@topica.com.
If you have comments or questions, feel free to email me at .
IN THIS ISSUE
> The good news and bad news about self-control
> Inner brats in the news
> How have you tamed your own inner brat?
> Inner brat tip of the month: Break a behavior pattern
> A bit of humor
> Distribution information
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The good news and bad news about self-control
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January. Gone are the TV commercials for wine, diamonds and other indulgences. They’ve been replaced by ads for exercise equipment, diet programs and low-calorie foods. There is a lot of talk about self-control at this time of year, but most people give up on their efforts after a couple of weeks (or in the case of some of my past attempts, "by lunchtime.")
Changing habits, as you know, is not always easy. You can, however, maximize your success by knowing a bit about the psychology of self-control. There has been much research in this area, which I have summarized in my book, "Taming Your Inner Brat: A Guide for Transforming Self-defeating Behavior."
Here are some of the findings:
<<<< First the bad news >>>>
* SELF-CONTROL WORKS LIKE A MUSCLE. It requires considerable effort, especially at first, which depletes you of energy to do other things. For example if you’ve just spent an hour lifting heavy weights at the gym, you won’t have much energy left for moving furniture when you get home.
Similarly, if you’ve spent the day vigilantly controlling a bad habit such as smoking or overeating, you may have difficulty managing your temper later on. This is the reason why people tend to get crabby when they’re trying to make a major behavioral change.
* CERTAIN CONDITIONS MAKE IT MORE DIFFICULT TO EXERCISE SELF-CONTROL. Some of these include fatigue, stress, situational cues and certain ways of thinking. If you are stressed or tired, you’re already depleted of energy. You may not have enough energy left over to keep your inner brat from grabbing that cookie or cigarette, or from yelling at your kids. It’s no surprise that most people go off their diets or get into heated arguments at night, when they’re tired or stressed from the demands of their day.
<<<< But here’s some good news >>>>
* LIKE MUSCLE TRAINING, SELF-CONTROL TRAINING EVENTUALLY BECOMES EASIER. The more you exercise your muscles, the stronger they become, such that you can lift more weight with less effort. In the same way, the more you practice self-control, the easier it will become. This works for a variety of problems including bad habits, procrastination, hot temper and other problems that arise out of impulses. Keep in mind that practice has to be consistent in order to pay off.
<<<< Here is some more helpful information >>>>
* MUSCLE TRAINING AND SELF-CONTROL TRAINING BOTH REQUIRE PERIODS OF REST. Physical training experts say that the most effective way to increase your strength is to work the muscles only on alternating days, giving them time to rest in between.
Self-control also needs rest, but obviously not on the same type of schedule. I’m not suggesting here that you smoke or drink on alternating days if you are trying to quit. However, it is important that you get enough rest in the form of sleep, recreation, or relaxation. This will help keep you mentally fresh and more able to sustain your resolve to change bad habits.
* PAYING CONSTANT ATTENTION TO THE HABIT YOU’RE TRYING TO CONTROL CAN ACTUALLY MAKE IT WORSE. You know that if you are trying to cut down on junk food it’s easier not to be around it, or if you have resolved to curb your spending, it’s a good idea to stay out of the stores. OK, that takes care of situational temptation.
But it’s also important to keep your mind off whatever you’re trying to control. For example, if you keep thinking about a hot fudge sundae and about the fact that you’re not going to have one, this only gives your inner brat more opportunity to try to convince you to give in.
The best way to get your mind off something is NOT to say to yourself, "I’m not going to think about XYZ," because this only makes you pay more attention to it. Better to distract yourself with something else to keep your mind busy. Eventually your inner brat will quiet down.
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If you would like to learn more about self-control and the obstacles that undermine it, check out my book, "Taming Your Inner Brat: A Guide to Transforming Self-defeating Behavior." If your local bookstore doesn’t have it in stock, you can order it online.
Amazon.com has the book on back-order at the moment, but Barnes & Noble has it in stock. Click on this link to buy it: http://shorterlink.com/?3R6U62
You can also order by telephone directly from the publisher (503) 531-8700. Ask for the "Friends and family" rate to receive a discount.
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Inner Brats in the News
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In the wake of lawsuits against the fast food industry, here is another one, this time against a diet program. An anti-diet activist and author of the book, "Fat is a feminist issue" is planning to sue Weight Watchers on behalf of the thousands of people who regained weight after completing the program. She claims that Weight Watchers preys on dieters' failures, because that means more repeat business.
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A 79-year-old woman was arrested on charges of assault and carrying a concealed weapon after raising a ruckus in a supermarket and being escorted out by a security guard. She kicked him and brandished a gun. When police arrived she kicked them as well as their car, bending the door frame. What was she so upset about? The long checkout lines.
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For more stories about brats in the news visit my website
http://www.drwallin.com/news.shtml
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How have you tamed your own inner brat?
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Read stories of people who are working on taming their inner brats. Contribute your own story. You can remain anonymous. Go to: http://www.drwallin.com/innerbrat_contrib.shtml
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Inner brat tip of the month: Break a behavior pattern
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In his book, "Do One Thing Different," Bill O’Hanlon urges readers to make small changes, which can help alter self-destructive patterns of behavior. You may find that changing just one aspect of a bad habit will interrupt the sequence enough to help you become free of it altogether.
For example, if you typically get overwhelmed by deadlines, it is probably a result of procrastination. Try this one change: Instead of doing a routine task next, substitute working on something that’s due several days or weeks from now. You need not work at it for long, only about 15-20 minutes. You probably won’t finish it, but that’s not the goal. By changing the order in which you do things, you are shaping a new habit. Do it enough times and the new habit will become stronger than the old one.
If you have had little success with changing your diet or exercise behavior in the past, do one thing different. One of my clients told me that she always intended to go to the gym after work, but once she got home and sat on the couch, it was very hard to get up and go out again. So, she decided to go to the gym straight from work. On weekends she made it a point not to sit on the couch until she visited the gym.
She also noticed that she ate more healthfully if she packed her lunch for work rather than going out or even skipping lunch altogether. This required about 5 minutes extra in the morning, but making this one change not only helped her lose a few pounds, it also saved money.
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A Bit of Humor
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I leave you with this anecdote: A friend of mine called a health club to sign up for a fitness class and the instructor told her to wear loose-fitting clothing. "Look," she retorted, "if I had any loose-fitting clothes I wouldn’t need the class!"
Until next month,
Pauline Wallin, Ph.D.
http://www.innerbrat.com
