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Welcome to the June, 2002 issue of the Inner Brat Newsletter. Welcome, new readers.
If anyone has comments or questions, feel free to email me at .
IN THIS ISSUE
>PMS and your inner brat
>Inner brats in the news
>How have you tamed your own inner brat?
>Inner brat tip of the month: Keep your stress level under control
>Distribution information
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PMS and your inner brat
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Everyone has experienced PMS - if not their own, then that of someone they live with or work with. PMS stands for "premenstrual syndrome," that time of the monthly menstrual cycle when a woman often becomes irritable, overemotional and sometimes even irrational.
Most women hate feeling the way they do during the premenstrual week of their cycle, but comedian Roseanne Barr has a different view: "Women complain about PMS, but I think of it as the only time of the month when I can be myself."
Other comics have joked that PMS really means "pass my shotgun," "psychotic mood shift," and "provide me with sweets," but it is no laughing matter.
According to the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists, it is estimated that 85% of menstruating women report at least one symptom of PMS. This is not surprising, since there are over 150 symptoms documented, including bloating, headaches and food cravings, as well as psychological symptoms of anxiety, irritability, anger and mood swings.
Only 5 to 10% of women suffer symptoms severe enough to be debilitating. The rest are what I call frustration-challenged. That is, their irritability is a problem, but they can curb it when they have to.
No one knows for sure what causes PMS. Hormones are definitely involved, but so are psychological factors. It is known that stress exacerbates PMS symptoms. That is, the more stress you have, the worse are your PMS symptoms.
Cultural and perhaps nutritional factors may also be involved. How else could we explain why Japanese women report less breast tenderness than Americans, and Nigerian women report more headaches? Or why Vietnamese women more often report abdominal pain and Italian women more tension? In addition, some cultures support complaining more than do other cultures. Women who live in a culture that supports complaining are more likely to report symptoms, and to feel them more intensely.
(By the way, if you are a subscriber to this newsletter who lives outside of North America, I would love to hear from you regarding how PMS is regarded in your country.)
What does PMS have to do with the inner brat? Plenty. When you are irritable you have less tolerance for other people. You are more easily frustrated, which in turn makes you more aggressive toward other people or yourself. Doesn't that sound like brattiness?
And if you live or work with someone with PMS, you have no doubt experienced first-hand what it's like to be the target of their irrationality.
Here's my take on PMS and how it affects one's coping ability. If you don't have PMS yourself, please pass this on to someone who does (You'll be glad you did):
Imagine that you have a mental "basket" that can hold only so much stress. Let's say that because of everything else that's going on in your life, it's currently two-thirds full. The premenstrual hormonal changes in your body are an additional stressor. When they come into play, your basket may not be able to accommodate all the stress, so it spills out in the form of hostility, eating binges or emotional overreaction.
Think of this as unleashing your inner brat. Many of the destructive thoughts and behaviors that women experience prior to their periods are reflections of the inner brat's inability to control frustration over minor inconveniences or errors.
If you think you can't help being bratty at this time of the month, think again. You may feel irritable, but you don't necessarily have to snap back at people or eat two pounds of chocolates. After all, you have probably been in countless circumstances where you did NOT act on your feelings or cravings, PMS or no PMS.
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In my new book, "Taming Your Inner Brat: A Guide to Transforming Self-defeating Behavior," you can learn more about the inner brat and how to control it. Even if you are one of those people who experiences severe PMS symptoms, you can learn effective techniques to manage the irritability.
There are 3 ways to buy this book:
~Visit your local bookstore
~Order online from my web site, http://innerbrat.com, or click here:
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/1582700508/qid%3D1015021163/sr%3D8-1/ ref%3Dsr%5F8%5F67%5F1/002-3648041-9748811 (if this link doesn't seem to work, highlight the whole link, including the part that wraps to the next line; then copy it and paste it to your browser URL window.)
~Order by telephone directly from the publisher toll-free: 800-284-9673
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Inner Brats in the News
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In recent weeks the news media have been exposing people in power, especially certain priests and corporate executives. The various individuals have been cited for their exploitive behavior - taking advantage of young boys in some cases, and taking advantage of employees or of stockholders' or taxpayers' money in other cases.
When priests use children for their own sexual satisfaction, or when corporate executives figure out ways to enrich themselves at the expense of others, they are prime examples of a bratty sense of entitlement. They behave as if the rules of common decency and consideration don't apply to them. They want what they want, and don't seem to care who or what is destroyed in the process.
Not all people in power have this sense of entitlement, and not all people with a sense of entitlement are powerful. However, these news stories give us pause to reflect on what happens when a society tolerates brattiness. Not only does it make people angry, but it also erodes trust. Anger soon subsides, but trust takes a long time to be re-established.
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How have you tamed your own inner brat?
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Read stories of people who are working on taming their inner brats. Here's one from a reader in California, who posted a review on the Amazon book site:
This book has changed my life. I now realize that my "inner brat" has been in control of the way I react and think for most of my adult life instead of me. I have struggled with intimate relationships, because of this behavior. The information provided by Pauline Wallin is very useful and it can put you in control of the way you think and react to emotional triggers instead of your inner brat. Anyone who exhibits self-destructive behavior will want to read this book.
Contribute your own story. You can remain anonymous. Go to:
http://www.drwallin.com/innerbrat_contrib.shtml
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Inner Brat Tip of the month: Keep your stress level under control
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Research has shown that stress depletes you of strength to deal with common everyday frustrations, disappointments and other experiences known as . . . life. Thus, if your stress basket seems to be spilling over and unleashing your inner brat, it's time to make more room. Here are some suggestions:
1. Get enough sleep. You know how irritable you can be when you are sleep-deprived. A good night's rest can often put problems into a more manageable perspective. Plus, you have more energy to deal with them.
2. Prioritize by making decisions about what you will do and what you won't do. This keeps you productively focused, and keeps your inner brat at bay.
3. Learn to say no. It's fine to help other people or to agree to participate in something that you're not enthusiastic about, but eventually it catches up with you, and you can become quite resentful. Better to decline at the outset if you have a choice. And don't worry about people being angry with you for this. Chances are they won't be, but even if they are, they'll probably get over it.
4. Make time for exercise. Recent research compared the effect of medicine vs moderate exercise on clinically depressed people. The results showed that sometimes exercise can be just as effective as medication, with the added bonus of no side effects.
5. When you feel completely overwhelmed by stress, slow down your breathing. Think of something soothing. Try to draw on your sense of humor by finding the absurdity in what's happening to you. As one individual wrote: "I read this article that said the typical symptoms of stress are eating too much, impulse buying, and driving too fast. Are they kidding? That's my idea of a perfect day!"
Until next month,
Pauline Wallin, Ph.D.
http://www.innerbrat.com
