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Welcome to the January, 2002 issue of the Inner Brat Newsletter. We have several new readers this month. If you have any comments or questions, feel free to email me at
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IN THIS ISSUE
>Have your New Year’s Resolutions fizzled already? Here’s why
>Inner brats in the news
>How have you tamed your own inner brat?
>Inner brat tip of the month: Re-interpret your body’s signals
>Distribution information
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Have your New Year’s Resolutions fizzled already? Here’s why
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Well, it’s a week into the new year. If you’re one of the millions of people who made New Year’s resolutions, you are in, or about to approach the challenging phase. Sure, it seemed easy to swear off cookies, candy or alcohol when you were overloaded with the stuff during the past few weeks. Feeling all bloated and lazy, you probably looked forward to getting more exercise.
New Year’s resolution makers most frequently choose weight loss or exercise as their number one self-improvement project. A close second is quitting smoking. Even if you didn’t make a formal resolution, chances are you have resolved to adopt a more healthy lifestyle.
But, as you know, most resolutions fail. And it’s all due to the inner brat. The inner brat has really enjoyed the holidays: it lives for self-indulgence. The first few days of your resolution aren’t really that hard. After all, you may be so sick of all that rich holiday food by now, that even your inner brat doesn’t miss it. And since many people around you are tackling their own self-improvement programs, you feel some social support to put more self-discipline in your life.
Despite this resolve and support, your inner brat is going to start feeling very deprived in a few days, if it hasn’t already. Then it resorts to its tactics, such as:
* Nagging: “I really need that cigarette.” or “I can’t live without that cookie.”
* Magnifying discomfort and inconvenience: “I can’t stand being hungry.” or “It’s too hard to get up early to exercise.”
* Rationalizing: “One cigarette isn’t going to kill me.” or “It’s too cold (or too snowy) to go for a walk.” or “If I charge this on my credit card, it will only raise my monthly payments by $10.”
* Flattering: “Think for yourself. Don’t let anybody tell you what to eat or not to eat.” or “You’re a nice guy. So what if you drink a little?”
False promises: “I’ll work on it this weekend.” or “I’ll start my diet on Monday.” or “This is my last drink.”
The struggle in keeping New Year’s resolutions (or any resolutions, for that matter) is a conflict between long-term benefit (e.g. looking better or feeling more healthy) and short-term gratification (e.g. having that cigarette or cookie NOW, or avoiding the exertion of exercise NOW.) Think of the long-term benefit as a product of your rational mind, and the short-term gratification as a desire of your inner brat. Which one is going to win out?
The rational side of you would say, “Just say no to chocolate and nicotine, and yes to exercise.” But that’s easier said than done. Because as soon as you have the slightest craving or feel the least bit uncomfortable, your inner brat is going to launch a major campaign to satisfy its urges or relieve its discomfort. And the more you pay attention to it, the more power it will have over you.
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In my new book, “Taming Your Inner Brat: A Guide to Transforming Self-defeating Behavior”, you can learn more about the inner brat and how to control it. Learn how the inner brat puts obstacles in the way of your resolve to make positive changes. Learn strategies to maximize your chance for success.
There are 3 ways to buy this book:
~Visit your local bookstore
~Order online from my web site, http://innerbrat.com, or click here:
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/1582700508/drwallincom-20/107-8603571
8089358 (if this link doesn’t seem to work, highlight the whole link,
including the part that wraps to the next line; then copy it and paste
it to your browser URL window.)
~Order by telephone directly from the publisher toll-free: 800-284-9673
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Inner Brats in the news
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Mark Turner, a convicted robber who has been in and out of jail since the 1970's, is suing the National Parole Board (Canada) for $1.6 million. He was released on parole in 1987 and served as an informant, but was arrested and convicted in 1993 for conspiracy to commit robbery. Two years later he began his lawsuit, claiming that authorities were negligent in releasing him too soon. The suit is now coming to trial.
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A Florida diner owner received a phone order for two hamburgers around 11:00 a.m. When the customer called back 20 minutes later and they weren't ready, he came over to the diner and started causing a disturbance. The diner owner claims he put his hand on the man's shoulder and told him to leave, and when he wouldn't, called 911. He didn't know that the customer, dressed in sweat pants, was Police Chief Joseph Elizarde, who then flashed his badge and called officers to the scene. The diner owner was arrested and released on $500. bail.
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Three days into their honeymoon while on a cruise, a young couple have called it quits. While spending time ashore, they missed the boat and had to take a plane to the ship's next destination. The 20-year-old bride told a newspaper reporter, "Our marriage is over. It was his fault we missed the boat." Said the 23-year-old groom: "That's fine by me."
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Read about these and other brats in the news at
http://www.innerbrat.com/news.shtml.
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How have you tamed your own inner brat?
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Read stories of people who are working on taming their inner brats.
Here’s a recent one from an anonymous reader in Minnesota:
“Heard you on the radio in Mpls the other day. Interesting concept. I think my resolution to quit smoking might just work this time. Since the show I have cut down on cigarettes just to see if I could do it. It's not like last time when all I thought about was my next smoke. This time I imagine a little brat in my head whining for a cigarette. I just tell him he'll just have to wait, and then I turn my mind to other things. The big test will be Jan. 7, when I have my last cigarette. Thanks for the tip.”
Contribute your own story. You can remain anonymous. Go to:
http://www.drwallin.com/innerbrat_contrib.shtml
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Inner Brat Tip Of The Month: Re-interpret your body’s signals
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If this is the year when you’re really going to kick those bad habits, your inner brat isn’t going to like it one bit. As I said earlier, it’s going to do everything in its power to keep things as they are. But you are stronger than your inner brat. Your rational brain can ignore or put a positive spin on the cravings, and it can overcome resistance. You’ve done it before. Here’s how to do it again:
Have you ever had to prepare for a blood test or surgery, where you couldn’t eat for 12 or more hours prior? Have you ever been in the middle of an important project and couldn’t take time off for lunch? At times like these, you may have felt hungry, but eating was not an option. And you probably didn’t feel like you were suffering all that much. The reason was because of how you interpreted your body’s signals. You weren’t feeling deprived because you *chose” the hungry state at the moment. It was in your control.
If you are trying to quit smoking or lose weight, notice your body’s signals, but interpret them in a way that is positive. For example, when you are craving a cigarette, say to yourself, “That’s good. It means my body is detoxifying.” (Instead of, “I need to fix that craving with a cigarette.”) If your stomach is growling, say to yourself, “That’s good. Soon my body is going to have to start burning fat.” (Instead of, “I’m starving! I need a snack.)
You might find that you welcome your discomfort as a challenge. Bring it on!
Until next month,
Pauline Wallin, Ph.D.
http://www.innerbrat.com
