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July, 2001
Welcome to the July, 2001 issue of the Inner Brat Newsletter. If you have any comments or questions, feel free to email me at .
IN THIS ISSUE
>What is the inner brat? How can knowing your inner brat help you?
>Inner Brats in the News
>Inner Brat Tip of the Month
>Distribution information
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What is the inner brat? How can knowing your inner brat help you?
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The inner brat is part of your primitive self, a carryover from your infant and toddler days. It is the part of you that wants what it wants, when it wants it, and doesn’t care who or what is destroyed in the process. It gets frustrated easily, makes mountains out of molehills, and in general reflects the mentality of the 2-year-old you once were. Like a 2-year-old, the inner brat is self-centered and impulsive. It grabs, lashes out and blames others.
Most people don’t realize that they have control over their impulses. Every day in my clinical practice, I hear people say to me, “I can’t help it. That’s the way I am.” Well, that may be the way they are, but they *can* help it. They do have more control than they realize.
Control comes from awareness. Once you picture the little brat that lives inside your head, you immediately bring into focus the essence of the problem. Everyone knows what a brat is, even though your definition may be slightly different from mine.
From a psychological point of view, the inner brat represents narcissism (self-centeredness) and impulsivity (disregard for consequences). However, these terms are abstract and don’t mean much to most people. On the other hand, a “brat” is something that most of us have had personal experience with.
Of course, there is no actual brat in your brain. The term is just a shortcut. But it’s an effective shortcut. Once you identify your own bratty thoughts and behaviors, you become more aware of the forces that drive you to do things that you later regret.
Using the idea of an inner brat is helpful because it gives you some distance and perspective on your problem behaviors. It’s much easier to recognize and change things that you view as separate from yourself. The inner brat is part of you, but at the same time it’s separate from the “real you”. And even though your anger and other impulses can be quite destructive, they become easier to manage when you picture them as belonging to a little brat than to overwhelming, unconscious forces. It helps to picture your inner brat as a harmless albeit immature creature, and to give it a name. Once you give something a name you can master it.
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In my new book, “Taming Your Inner Brat: A Guide to Transforming Self-defeating Behavior”, you can learn more about the inner brat and how to control it. There are 3 ways to buy this book:
~Visit your local bookstore
~Order online from my web site, http://innerbrat.com, or click here:
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/1582700508/drwallincom-20/107-8603571-8089358 (if this link doesn’t seem to work, highlight the whole link, including the part that wraps to the next line; then copy it and paste it to your browser URL window.)
~Order by telephone directly from the publisher toll-free: 800-284-9673
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Inner Brats in the News
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Bratty behavior is alive and well around the world. Every day people lose their tempers over something minor, file lawsuits for something that’s their own fault, and make excuses that don’t make sense.
Here are a few examples:
*A man in New Mexico was fired for accessing Internet porn sites at work. His defense: The devil made him do it. He couldn’t help it.
*In Kenya a 28-year-old man chopped off his mother’s hand and then killed her for failing to make his lunch.
*In Pennsylvania a man assaulted Cookie Monster at a children’s amusement park when the Sesame Street character would not pose for a picture with his daughter.
*And lest you think that only men do bratty stuff, a woman in California stabbed and killed her boyfriend because he brought home the wrong meal from McDonald’s.
*A New York teacher was charged with assault and suspended from her job after chasing a student through the halls and causing him injury because she thought he had taken her box of cookies. (Gives a whole new twist to the “cookie monster” concept, doesn’t it?).
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Inner Brat Tip of the Month
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Summer is a time for kicking back and taking it easy. Beer consumption increases during hot weather. Although beer has a lower alcohol content than whiskey, it’s easy to make up for that difference by quaffing it by the pitcher or keg. You can get just as drunk on beer as on other forms of alcohol.
Overconsumption of alcohol can give your inner brat the edge. When you’ve had too much to drink, you are more likely to be aggressive, to say things you later regret and to take risks that you normally would avoid. Alcohol weakens brain mechanisms that normally restrain impulsive behaviors. It also distorts your thoughts so that you might misjudge what someone is saying or doing, causing you to overreact.
I’m not saying you shouldn’t enjoy your beers this summer. Just keep in mind that your inner brat loves it when you lose control.
Pauline Wallin, Ph.D.
http://www.innerbrat.com
